First things first: harassment, hate speech or verbal abuse is not what I am discussing in this article and by no means am I condoning or ridiculing such behaviour.
I am referring to harmless “haters”, social media trolls and lurkers. People who are jealous of your success, fear your strength or quite frankly hate on everything you do but can’t stop secretly following your life. Mmm, am I pushing anyone’s buttons yet?
I am pretty sure by now many of us either fall victims or are perpetrators of this. If you are the latter, I am not here to judge you – only god can do that.
I get it, blocking your ex-boyfriend because he keeps popping up on your timeline and everything he does simply infuriates the hell out of you. Understood. Even that random annoying guy who just won’t stop texting or an ex bestie that completely stabbed you in the back. Got it! But blocking someone you have never spoken a word to in your life? Mmm.
If some random girl or guy has done this without you having given them reason to (and by this I mean NO reason – banging their sister or hooking up with their dad is actually a good enough reason even if you don’t think so) the first thing you should do is:
- Find the closest mirror.
- Laugh out loud.
- Pat yourself on the back.
- Have another laugh with your closest friends on your Whatsapp group chat.
- Return to what you are doing.
- Send them some telepathic love.
- Carry on with your fabulous life.
However, I know this is easier said than done. Naturally that “oh no she didn’t” attitude starts to fleek and your favorite quotes daily website surges hourly, but just take a moment to think about this:
Some random person with no relevance in your life, blocked you. Not unfollowed you because that’s allowed, but blocked you. If you are wondering if you kissed their bf last week at the club, again, maybe that is a good enough reason. Or maybe they think you are copying their style or their hashtags (apparently some people invented words now and not the founders of the English language) or even their life. Well, if you are obsessed with one of your friends lives or blatantly buy everything they wear without complementing them first or asking if they mind if you do the same, that is quite annoying. However if it’s a friend you should be able to talk about it, not block them. But what if you don’t even know them? A celeb or a public figures job relies on their fans and their purpose in life is to inspire others. But if you feel threatened by someone that you have never spoken a word in your life because you have some ridiculous idea that your hashtags are patent or you are the only one that deserves that life, please check yourself before you wreck yourself.
If someone you don’t know from a damn bar of soap has done this to you, don’t doubt yourself honey because there is something wrong with them, not you. The fact that your existence affects someone on this level means that you are doing something right. Since the rise of social media over the past 10 years, it has had a tremendous physiological affect on human behavior. Someone in America can watch a live video in London without the disadvantage of any time difference and we constantly have access to see how people are living their lives. Studies have shown that the overuse of social media increases narcissistic tendencies, anti-social behavior and people have become more prone to depression, anxiety and other psychological disorders.
Now with that said, I am not trying to act like a saint as sometimes I too feel that I can be somewhat addicted to social media but when some person hates on another via this platform, blocks you for no reason or likes your pictures on instagram but wont greet you in person, don’t take it personally baby girl (or boy lol). Try your best to remain the bigger person. Laugh it off but don’t block them too. How people treat others is a reflection of themselves, not you. Of course, if someone is harassing or trying to inflict any harm on you block and report that shayt immediately but if it’s just some random hater, take it in your stride. Don’t even post a quote, it’s not worth it. Ok maybe twice a year or so to remind them that you are always watching – just from the sidelines – but silence is actually a great source of strength. You don’t need to explain your life to anyone and no one has the right to hate on you unless you have seriously given them a good reason to (not some delusional reason in their heads). Social media has given people a voice to say however they feel and that is seen as a pro instead of a con in some cases, but no one wants to constantly bitch about haters, it’s just making them smile from the inside. You are not weak if you don’t react to some random person that you have never spoken a word to in your life, you are better. A better person is always better than a bitter person, remember that! How people treat you is their karma and how you react is yours. Keep on slaying because envy only slays itself with its own arrows.
To read more about the psychological effects of social media click here.